I See Your Depression

I see your depression.

Your mood hangs limply around you like a skin, shed, yet not sloughed away...

It projects an image.

An aura.

A mask of emotions it thinks others want to see...

You smile.

No joy touches your eyes...

This grin is sarcasm, wryly shaking it's head at the naivety of the other population.

At how easily they have been duped, but...

I see your depression.

Making you walk more slowly, each step muffled and more deliberate...

I sense the effort you expend to put one foot forward.

You are looking down, you do most of the time...

Your world is a few feet wide, while most of it's depth is turned inward.

I see your depression.

But, you can barely hear me even now, your ears are stuffed with cotton...

An invisible barrier that subdues the harshness of the external world.

The cotton that spins itself, wrapping you a warm smothering cocoon...

A blanket that, through nearly constant use, has become a comfort.

Your blanket.

Frayed at the edges and dirty from dragging it around...

It needs you to let go long enough for it to get washed.

So it can keep the act going...

See your depression.

As you unwrap it from yourself, holding it close...

Go ahead, plunge into the soapy water, what does it have to lose?

This causes no real pain.

And you know real pain...

Untangle your depression.

The wash is through, no harm done...

Step outside just long enough to hang it on the line.

A step, a quick intake of breath...

Outdoor air.

Charged with the spark of life and the movement that exists beyond your walls...

The Sun.

Your eyes press closed against the vibrant light and colors...

But, they can still feel the warmth flowing in.

Your face, soaking it up like a flower...

Turning it's petals toward the Sun.

Holding your depression.

As you take a few steps to the clothesline...

Across the green grass.

Bending under your feet.

How is it not breaking?

Just like the trees that tether the ends of the line.

Their leafy branches rolling in the breeze...

Each leaf held fast by the very smallest part of the tree.

Strange...

It gives way to the unstoppable forces that routinely seem to control it.

The tree doesn't fear, it will spring back into it's own form in due time...

Lay your depression gently over the line, you will be right here.

Close by...

Let your depression gently move with the breeze, in your shared sunshine.

Perhaps it will hear a bird chirping or the croak of a frog...

The excited squeal of some children playing in the distance.

Children...

If they were close, they would see your depression.

Not knowing it's name, they would hug you and hold on...

Kiss it better.

They have the answer, the children...

They show you how to.

Find one small thing, no matter the significance...

Really see it, look at it from all angles.

See it's beauty...

The beauty that others may not take the time to see.

Some beauty it holds only for you...

Allow that fact to bring a small smug smirk to the corner of your mouth.

Understand the lengths it will go to just to "be" ...

To exist.

That it would give anything just to spend one more moment being...

Marvel at it's complexity.

Consider the journey it has taken, just to be here, right now...

Appreciate the humor.

See some strangeness, some quirk, or some pattern, that makes it unique...

Perhaps uniquely goofy.

A freak of nature that may never happen again...

Allow that irony to spread a bemused smile onto your face.

When your eyes refocus and the world comes back into view...

See your depression.

And how, if just for a moment...

You were able to safely lay it down.

See your depression...

Realizing that the sunlight made it a little whiter.

Feeling that the breeze made it a little thinner and lighter...

Remembering that it does not feel as carefree and true as the hug from a child.

It's okay to see your depression...

To recognize it.

To remember that there are others who can see it.

Who understand.

Who are not shocked or frightened by it.

It's okay to know, you are not alone.